Sunday, February 27, 2011


This one is going to be short and sweet tonight. Well, sort of.

Girls who have a bedazzled phone deserve a good smack. The only time I can think of making an exception to this rule is when you're in sixth grade and you get your first phone. After middle school, retire the hello kitty jewels ladies.

 Another thing that bothers me is people who go to the library to socialize. I may have been guilty of this a time or two when I was younger and on the prowl, but now it is just down right frustrating. As much fun at fitting a regression line is, the chitter chatter of teeny boppers nearby does not help. I don't care who you saw at klondike last night, or what boy you kissed, or how much flavored vodka you drank. Save that for a later date.

"OMG gurl no way!"
And while we're at it, I currently hate my statistics class and the hours spent searching and analyzing data sets. Someone please remind me why I decided to stay in school again?

 The one thing worse than a bedazzled phone is the large girl who thinks it's acceptable to wear leggings that are stretched to the breaking point. There is a fine line when it comes to those who are brave enough to wear leggings. You either have the body for it, or you should stick to the denim section. I am in constant fear of losing my lunch every time I see the nooks and crannies that no one can be fully prepared to come into contact with. Ahhhh! Hide your kids!

Don't get me wrong, girls are not the only ones capable of bothering me. Believe it or not, members of the opposite sex also have some strict guidelines to follow. Number one being: you should NEVER, under any circumstances, wear white sunglasses. No one takes you seriously, trust me.

Aside from white sunglasses, guys who don't like cats are a definite no-go. I don't want to hear this lame excuse of "you are deathly allergic". Suck it up boys. If you wanna be my lover, ya gotta get with my...... cat.
Another deal-breaker are guys with earrings of any sort. There is absolutely no reason why any male should have ANY piercings on his body, much less any guido-like studs. "The ladies" don't swoon over you. We're not giggling because we like you, we're giggling because you actually think that's cool. Silly boys.

Speaking of being "cool", I will diverge from my rant for a brief moment. I met a boy this weekend who had some serious potential. For starters; he didn't have on a pair of white sunglasses, he had no piercings (that I was aware of), and he was surprisingly funny. However, things quickly took a turn for the worse. I began to notice he was unable to use the word 'THE'. He was always getting in DA shower, or in DA car, or going to DA store. This should have been a sign, but I chose to give him a second chance (big surprise there right). The second red flag was when he told me he didn't like my cat. NO ONE dislikes George, and no I do not care that you are deathly allergic, get over yourself and talk to my small child. But the straw that broke the camel's back was the usage of the word "kewl". A word to the wise: "kewl" should be left in middle school, along with your bedazzled phone.

With that being said, I continue with my spiel.

Tyler Perry is in no way funny. Anyone who likes his work should all be sent to South Dakota, because let's be real; no one really lives in South Dakota, and if they do, they are probably the only people on the planet that do in fact like Tyler Perry. Please go ahead and retire already.

Lastly (and I hate to do this, but I have to), if you are over the age of 70, you should really reconsider getting behind the wheel (Floridians in particular). I love grandpeople to no end, but I am a strong proponent of locking them up and throwing away the key. Okay okay, nothing this harsh, but some rules need to be in place to protect the community. I still love ya baby boomers!

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.... literally. And beware of these warning signs. YOU COULD BE NEXT!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Procrastination Is The Only Thing That Keeps Me Going...

Here I am again, when I should clearly be doing something else. I am in graduate school, certainly I have SOMETHING more important to do than this. Obviously I should be doing schoolwork: reading something, writing a paper that's due in less than 24 hours, researching how to save the world. However, like usual, I am not.

I have always found that procrastination has paid off for me thus far. Granted, I am one stressed out woman and everyone knows to steer clear from me until I have reached my deadline, I always manage to get my work done. I have come to realize that my best work (okay, 'best' may be an exaggeration here but you get the idea) always comes from those sleepless nights where I find myself drinking lots of coffee (disgusting) and cranking out a final product. It never seems to fail, I ALWAYS procrastinate. Putting things off just comes naturally to me, and it has not done me too wrong thus far (knock on wood).
For the life of me, I just cannot seem to do things ahead of time. I am always in a rush, and for the most part, I am usually a late-arrival to basically everything. Clearly this is not a positive characteristic about myself (if I could I would get up a little earlier, it's not my fault the alarm clock decided to snooze on my behalf). But I swear, I have taken steps in order to try to become a new person in many aspects of my life (the ones that matter at least).

I have started a healthy living regime. I am working out more than I can ever remember doing, I am eating much better (besides my chocolate treat I hide to sneak last night, oops!), and I am conscious of other behaviors that weren't very positive in my life. As I like to remind everyone, I am deathly afraid of change; so this is a huge milestone for me.
Baby steps, baby steps people!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

People Never Cease To Amaze Me

Trust is not something you hand over freely to people. So when you do trust people with things that are important to you, it hurts to have them thrown back in your face. I can't say that I am innocent in this regard; I have been known to let a few secrets slip a time or two. But small town gossip and what I'm referring to are not even on the same playing field.

It never fails, the minute you trust someone with something you give them the power to potentially hurt you. It's happened to me plenty of times in the past. An ex-boyfriend who knows how to get to you, a friend who thinks it will never get back to you, and even family whom you expect to never cross that line. Each time it happens you would expect that you would learn from it.
Well, if you know anything about me, you know that it takes me a while to learn from my mistakes (no examples needed here, the list goes on and on). It takes a lot for me to let people in. You could compare me to a layer cake. The outside layer is what everyone sees when they come in contact with me. This layer changes depending on the setting and how many four loko's I've had to drink. The next layer is reserved for those who decide they can put up with my antics and tolerate my unpredictable behavior. The next layer is cream cheese icing, just because I'm craving sweets right now.

The point is, once you delve deeper and deeper into this "cake" you will see that all the good stuff is in the center. You trust the people that are closest to you; therefore, those people are the ones who hold the power to hurt you. There are some lines that should never be crossed, some things that should never be said, and some actions that will never be forgotten. You can never undo your words once they have been spoken, and I have learned this the hard way a time or two. You can also never take back an action once you have done it. 
I have been disappointed plenty of times in my life, and I have been the one to disappoint as well. There are things about me that no one knows, things that no one may ever know. The only person we can trust is ourselves, and even we let ourselves down now and then. 

Today is a breaking point for me. I have had several epiphanies in the last week. Things seem to be a little more clear. I don't know if this is a growing up experience, seeing as how I haven't really grown up over the past several years. This is why I will be alone for the rest of my life; I will never be able to trust anyone. And some people just aren't worth it.
Trust is important in any kind of relationship and once it is gone, chances are it will never come back. Once you have broken trust it is a long and arduous road that lies ahead. I have learned today to treat others how I expect to be treated (something I should have picked up on a little earlier, but hey, now is better than never).

The motto today; Trust no one, and when all else fails, eat cake.